Outside of my education, I read lots of books, many of them related to personal growth. I enjoy reading the success stories of famous entrepreneurs and investors. Even the stories of people who are not famous always catch my attention. Many people only see the bright side and overlook the failures and dark periods of successful individuals. While I understand that they have to encounter many failures before achieving success, I am really curious to know how they stand up again and what motivates them to fight back. Normally, books just mention certain events or situations, for example, that they met someone who showed them a solution, or that the situation suddenly improved—some kind of miracle that saved them from a really harsh situation. Even when these books mention the difficult periods in their lives, they rarely discuss their thoughts during those challenging times.
Behind this phenomenon are some reasons that seem rational to ordinary people:
- At that time, they were too busy handling the problem, so they did not keep any record.
- The harsh event has passed; there is no point in mentioning how they got through it.
- If we persist enough, we will be successful.
Regarding point 1, that is not possible. Everyone must remember the most difficult period in their life; for example, if you have a very serious illness and nearly die, you won’t forget about it. What we tend to forget easily are the happiest moments in our lives.
For point 2, that is not a proper reason. We can always learn from failure; that is why we achieve success. There is no point in not sharing how they faced and overcame those harsh periods.
For point 3, this is not entirely true for me, although it holds some truth in nature. Not everything we persist in will lead to success. Furthermore, this statement does not answer my question: how do successful people return to a normal situation from a failure situation?
Now I can tell you why. It is because successful people cannot explain how they recover from difficult situations, just as they cannot explain how they became successful.
If I use some famous stars or singers as examples, it becomes easier to understand. We don’t know why some stars or singers become very famous while others remain unknown despite their hard work. A similar case is when someone may encounter a serious illness despite maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle.
The truth is that sometimes problems resolve suddenly. I don’t know why or how this happens, but it does occur. I think this reflects what they truly believe, it feels like a miracle. We call it a miracle because it seems not man-made, that is why I firmly believe most successful and wealthy individuals truly believe in God or another religious system. They have their own faith, and only with strong faith can one survive during very difficult periods in life.
When facing the media and asked about their factors for success or what encouraged them to fight back from bad situations, they cannot respond with “I don’t know why I became successful, it just happened.” Nor can they say, “I have no idea why the situation suddenly improved, perhaps because of God.” Instead, they repackage their experiences by saying, “Today I am successful because of the help from others or because I have worked very hard,” attributing their success or turnaround to these factors.
Even the richest and smartest people in this world cannot fully explain their journeys. In their minds, they may think it is destiny or related to God; events were simply preordained to happen. As a result, wealthy individuals often lack a sense of security regarding money—a fear that surpasses that of ordinary people. If you are an employee, your worry might be losing your job if your company closes down, at least you know where your income comes from and what affects it. However, if you are extremely wealthy and do not understand why you became rich—everything seems smooth—and you also do not comprehend why you previously failed when everything turned bad, it feels utterly uncontrollable. How do you feel? What would you do? The phenomenon is that while they are very rich, they genuinely fear losing all their money. Therefore, they tend to hoard their wealth and become stingy.
The richer you are, the darker your shadow becomes.
No one will tell you about this kind of thing. I know it from a book 1 and have only come to understand it well through my own personal experience.
Reference:
1. The Paradox of Success / When Winning At Work Means Losing At Life, by Author Masanori Kanda